Is it possible for pornographic movies to be romantic? Come see the all-new Porno Jim Show on Saturday February 9th, where I’ll try to answer that question – in honor of Valentine’s Day!
Once upon a time it was called Couples Porn and now the marketing people say that women prefer the word Romance, but every few years the adult industry creates a new wave of porn that they hope will be arousing to women. The success of Fifty Shades of Grey has convinced them that now is the time to try again.
I’ll be reviewing all of the important titles, from early classics like The Opening of Misty Beethoven to new contenders like Torn and TransRomantic, as well as the XXX versions of Fifty Shades & The Notebook. Plus this month’s inexplicable Porntage!
Each January the AVN Awards honor the skilled work of hundreds of sexual athletes and other creative people in over a hundred categories of porn achievement. In 2013 these awards take place on January 19, a week after my next show at Bar 82.
I will be writing a brand-new Porno Jim show for you every month in 2013, and I’m starting off by examining the porn year that was and presenting you with clips from the most interesting 2012 nominees, as well as my favorite porn scenes of the year!
Go-Go dancing for us once again is the fabulous Zoe Ziegfeld!
My thanks to everyone who came out to our Winter Holiday show on Saturday! It was a great show. In addition to the regular Porntage I created a special collection of Christmas porn videos for this event that I would like to share with you. Merry Christmas!
Here are some cool videos of the beautiful and talented Burlesque dancers performing in the November 10th PJS at Bar 82:
Go-Go by Zoe Ziegfeld
And here’s one of me talking to the audience about an important editing choice that I made with one of the more extreme clips in the Porntage I had just shown them (in this case, Eastern European Lesbian Fisting):
My show at Bar 82 on Saturday October 16 was a big success! The burlesque acts were visceral and titillating – I’ve got videos of their performances that I will post for you.
The audience laughed hardest during the kung-fu sex scene, but was most impressed by the skydiving fornicators (who were fired from their jobs at the skydiving school the very next day, sad to say). Nothing in my latest Porntage seemed to faze these brave women and men, so I’ll be adding something edgier to the next one.
Which will be on Saturday December 8 in The Porno Jim Winter Holiday Show! You can now see me and three beautiful dancers at Bar 82 on the second Saturday of every month. This time I’ll be featuring the best Christmas and Chanukah porn I can find, with holiday-themed burlesque from Ula Uberbusen and Stormy Leather, plus sultry Go-Go from Zoe Ziegfeld!
Performing in the back room of Bar 82 is fun! There are some small tables and about 40 chairs, plus a few benches along the walls. The stage is a small rectangle set at a very odd angle, with a projector screen on the wall behind. The dancers said that it took a minute to adjust to, but that it wasn’t a problem. I think the unique setup suits our odd little show perfectly!
136 2nd Ave. between St. Marks Place and E. 9th Street (in the back room)
Doors are at 8:30pm Show starts at 9:00pm (we finish up about 11)
Tickets are $15 at the door, but only $10 if you buy them in advance here!
Please join me on at 8pm on Saturday November 10th in the back room at Bar 82 (136 Second Ave. between St. Marks and East 9th St.) where you will see not only an ALL-NEW and extended edition of the unique and oft-times hilarious porn experience that I regularly present, but also the fabulous gyrations of these sexy burlesque performers:
and gogo-ing for us all night will be the incredible
Doors are at 8pm, show starts at 9pm.
We’ll be finishing up at 11pm!
Tickets are $15
As always, I’ll have incredible porn DVDs to give away to some brave individuals.
Hey there Porn Fans! I’ve written a new show for 2012 and have booked three venues to perform in before the summer ends.
This Wednesday August 15th, I will be performing my first ever show at the Parkside Lounge! I’ll be going on at about 9:30pm. Opening for me at 7 PM is Music of the Electron, an evening of Engaging Emotive Electronic Music. A beautiful way to start off your evening, followed by the funniest, sexiest show in town!
Then on Saturday September 1st I will be doing an experimental Porno Jim installation at Winkel and Balktick’s Stranded:Laboratory party in the old Pfizer building in Williamsburg (50,000 square feet!).
Porno Jim’s Laboratory Experiment is designed to scientifically measure the reaction of the members of my audience to specific pornographic stimuli under warehouse party conditions. This groundbreaking research could rank up there in importance with Kinsey, or Masters and Johnson! That is, if nothing goes wrong.
Each member of the test group to be studied, or “Audience”, will be asked to fill out a short (anonymous) questionnaire, then I will show group some pornography while my camera records their reactions. This data will be compiled, correlated, analyzed and finally regurgitated onto this site as scientifically valid research data. No nudity is required, only 12 minutes of your time, which will be spent watching hilarious, mindblowing porn – all of which takes place in a laboratory!
We open the Lab at around 10pm and we’ll stop collecting data when we get tired, probably around 2:30am.
W&B throw the best parties in NYC, and I am thrilled to be in their Stranded lineup once again. Get your tickets here: http://laboratory-eorg.eventbrite.com/
And here’s the Facebook Event: https://www.facebook.com/events/248640648585608/
Then on Friday September 21st, I’m very excited to be performing onstage with Nina Hartley and Buck Angel in Washington DC at the Popcorn and Porn Kickoff for the Woodhull Alliance Sexual Freedom Summit! This promises to be a Legendary event! Please check out the website
http://www.woodhullalliance.org/sexual-freedom-summit/, and consider attending!
As always, I am available for private parties (birthday, bachelorette, anniversary, etc.) and burlesque/variety show bookings in New York City. I will create a customized Porno Jim Show for your party or event! You can reach me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
I’ve been working on a few other projects I’d like to tell you about. I am finishing up a script for a new porn superhero porn movie (with all new superheroes, not parody versions of famous characters). It’s called The Immaculator. I plan to raise the money to shoot it using one of the new Kickstarter-like websites that are about to launch which will be focused on adult-related projects.
Plus, The Slipper Room is supposed to re-open soon (they have completely rebuilt the whole building!) and I will be doing a monthly PJ show there this Fall incorporating the sexiest burlesque acts in the city, just like back in the day!
I’d love to hear what you think, so please join my website! Just enter your email and a password into the Login fields, which are on the lower left hand side of this page. Only members can make comments, which should prevent spam and limit assholery.
I look forward to answering all of your porn questions, which can only result in improving your sex life!
The Porno Jim is in Penthouse party at Madame X was amazing! The entire second floor was packed for hours, and we easily made our bar guarantee. Thanks again to everyone who made it out that night! Your support means a lot to me.
My most excellent friends in the NYC Burlesque scene found two beautiful go-go dancers to perform at the event:
These seductive sirens entertained the well-dressed audience (most in attendance wore outfits of black, red or white, the official Porno Jim colors) while everyone mingled and I signed Penthouse magazines and Hookin’ Up DVDs as fast as I could! I have yet to invent a cool Porno Jim catchphrase to make signing things a speedy process, but everyone got a sentence or two of what seemed fun and appropriate at the time, and a cute flirty signature from Jenna, my invaluable intern and the brunette model in the photos accompanying the article.
At 10 PM I put away my Sharpie and the box of stuff that I was signing and walked up to the balcony, where Stella Chuu and Satheara Sin were dancing.
I told them that I was about to perform my show and that they should take this opportunity to get a drink and change costumes for the second half of the party.
With some remote control assistance from Emmet, the very helpful bar manager, I started the projector, adjusted the lighting and began to address the expectant crowd. But we had neglected to arrange for a microphone, so I cleared my throat and tried mightily to project my voice to the people waaay in the back of the room.
I thanked everyone for coming, and the uber-talented Alex Colby for creating the article and the sexy photographs. There was applause at the appropriate times, which indicated that most of the people could hear me. So I continued by saying that each year for the past 10 years I have written and performed a new edition of The Porno Jim Show, and tonight I have a sneak preview of the 2012 version which I expect to premiere this Summer.
Then I talked for a minute about how America Needs Better Porn! (more true today then ever), and showed two video clips: an example of bad porn starring Kayla Kupcakes & Dino Bravo, followed by a 2001 clip of some orgasmically good (but slightly extreme) porn from Belladonna – the greatest porn star in the world. Here they are:
Halfway through the first clip Emmet handed me a microphone and my voice was saved! Mics make all the difference, ‘cause my jokes are always funnier when they are clearly heard.
Next I introduced the first-timers in the audience to the concept of the Porntage and showed them the newest incarnation:
People really responded to this latest crop of weird porn moments. The pizza clip never fails, but the skydiving sex was what people afterward talked about the most. The snotty BJ image needs to be brightened up a bit for next time, but people were properly disgusting (though at least one person thought the woman on screen had vomited through her nose). The porn industry has always glorified one bodily fluid (semen) over all others, but today starlets are expected to produce and play with thick spit/phlegm (which resembles semen on screen) all of the time. Let’s hope that snot does not join spit on the porn industry’s list of erotic bodily fluids.
As always, I closed with videos of some amazing orgasms from two of my favorite sex performers (in this case Skin Diamond and Alexis Texas), thanked everyone again for coming tonight, and received an enthusiastic round of applause. Then I turned off the projector and restarted the music as the go-go dancers returned to the balcony.
I straightened my tie and went into the crowd to say hello to everyone who had arrived late, then sat down to sign the seven remaining copies of Penthouse. We wound up selling all thirty five magazines and five Hookin’ Up DVDs! Soon it was 12:15 AM and the staff sent us and a handful of party stragglers to the downstairs lounge. The whole evening was just wonderful!
By the way, the March issue of Penthouse magazine is on sale now! If you can’t afford the $8, or have no interest in non-digital reading, I will be posting the entire four-page article here on March 15, when my issue is replaced on the newsstands.